hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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