WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
im holly from the hills drunk
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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