Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Randomize
