I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Randomize
