By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I deserve this hangover.
Randomize
