i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Randomize
