So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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