Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
