ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
