remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
you inspire me to be a worse person
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
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