just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
