The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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