I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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