i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
