u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Randomize
