I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Randomize
