ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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