this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Randomize
