so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
