we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
