Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
