he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
