a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
i need some magic done to my vagina
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
