who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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