My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
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