i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
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