he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
