if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
