2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Randomize
