Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
it's like heaven, but drunker
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Randomize
