ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
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