you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
