whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize
