I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
