the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
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