Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
