ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
either way he was missing a nipple.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Randomize
