I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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