please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize
