I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
