I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
The beer is more important than you right now.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I said "one day" and that day is not today
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
