Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
