Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Randomize
