Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
