yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
