She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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