But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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