return my video game
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
I'm both gender and math confused
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
