I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
