I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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