I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize